Sunday, October 18, 2009

Call me Saint-Ashley

Here is why you should bow down and worship me:
Because I have kept my kids at home.

And don't think that this has been easy. Cause it has sucked. Sure, at one time over the last two weeks, there has always been someone SO sick that they didn't even have the desire to go outside, or peel their dying body off of the sofa for any reason. But the others, who were not sick, were always dying to get outside. Dying to play. And I could have. I could have sent Shelby to Pre-School before she was burning up with a fever, knowing what was on the horizon for her, but not admitting it. She would have contaminated the whole damned class, before they knew what hit them.

I could have sent Dalton back to school a week ago, when he no longer had a fever, but was just coughing. I could have rationalized it...said that the Pediatrician said it was no longer contagious.

Oh yes, that stuff that is floating through the air when he that's not's Pixie Dust.

Yes, I could have had seven hours with one less kid on my hands, who could have been swapping PB&J sandwiches with YOUR kid during lunch! And when your kid came down with the Swine Flu (or not feeling that great/ a little cough/ just tired/ or what-ever other BS term I wanted to call it)...I could have shrugged and made some comment like, "Geez, I wonder who on Earth he caught that from?" And there's nothing you could have done about it..except hate me in silence. Cause you would have known. We Mothers always know. But for you it would be silent loathing...that would have been your only tool.

But no. I have been a martyr. Died for the cause of keeping this damned virus to ourselves. I have sacrificed my sanity for your family's health. I have truly taken one for the team. And so, your child's birthday party was germ free. Your kids didn't EVER get coughed on by my kids. NOT ONCE.

You could feel good about yourself when you called to offer your help, but breathe a sigh of relief when I refused to take you up on it. So, you feel a little bit guilty for being a shitty friend. It's OK. You saw how miserable we were, and you wanted no part of it. I understand. But just know this...YOU OWE ME ONE. And the next time your kid is coughing, or his eyes are watery, or he threw up the night before but seems fine this morning...DON'T YOU DARE SEND HIM TO SCHOOL. Don't you dare shrug and say that he didn't have any symptoms. Don't you dare say that his sibling was sick, not him. You keep him to yourself, and not until he is bright eyed and bushy tailed, with no hint of any coughing or illness, do you let him come back. It's your turn to take one for the team. I have paid my dues this year.

*as a disclaimer, I have to say that I did botch it Saturday. Shelby had her birthday party, and I went out with a friend. Shelby could have passed it on to her three friends at her party, even though she didn't have any of the symptoms, and I could have done the same to my friend. As of today, none of them have it. By now, they would have some sign of it. One of the little girls looks iffy to me, but her parents would never admit that's what it was. And so, I did sin. But then I did penance. Maybe that's why I was so vigilant about keeping everyone sequestered for the duration. But there you have sins confessed.


Sage said...

Ashley!! its Sage (old sitter).
Sorry about all the sick.. other than that, how are you guys? I'm in Austria now. And i miss you guys! I'll bring you some good german chocolate at christmas. Hope everythings going ok!

Sage said...

reply to your comment on my blog--
Things are going great! Harper is my first name.. I still go by sage, even though no one here can pronounce it. yeah i'm going to school here, and i'll be back before Christmas.I've been here sice August 28. Flan is in Indonesia! and she's there until June! you can follow her blog, too. Say hi to the kids!

Sara said...


All I can say, is I do kneel down and worship you.
I have been a purel toting freak. Suspicious of any coughs, sniffles, or watery eyes.
Thank you! If only more mother's were like you.

The pic of the kids and gav all on the couch should be the poster for educating people on the FLU.

Anonymous said...

What the F?