The Mirror Has Two Faces

You know how some people hate their mirror? Well, I love mine. One of mine, that is. It is my bathroom mirror, above my sink. May be something to do with the lighting. Whatever the reason, that mirror is so kind to me. It softens everything, making you look a little air-brushed. Problem is, none of my other mirrors share the same disposition as my bathroom mirror. They seem to be a little harsher, their light a little brighter, tending to amplify and magnify all at the same time....so I tend to avoid those mirrors, or just use them to show the kids where they missed when they were brushing their teeth.



But then today I am driving Shelby home from preschool and I catch a glimpse of my face in the rear-view mirror. I swear, I nearly crashed. It was like the "Two face" episode on Seinfeld...Whose skin is that??



Now granted, I didn't have a stitch of make-up on, but I was still unprepared. I had felt a bump here, and a bump there for a while. Thank goodness for mineral make-up. With the right brush, tap and swirl, and presto-chango the bump vanishes! (or so it would appear). But when the make up is gone, suddenly they have multiplied. The cheeks, the chin, my nose...I look like one of the before-pictures on the Pro Active commercial. I mean, this isn't new news. I have always had acne. I just figured, like puberty, some day it would come to an end. I mean, come on, I am in my 31st year here. I am just about ready for wrinkle cream. I am not supposed to be buying Oxy 5 at the same flippin time! That is just a rule of life, isn't it?



I mean, is this a trial that I have been given? So that I might relate much better to all of my teenage babysitters? Or maybe continue in meekness and humility? Do I have the hygiene of a slob? Am I over washing? Under washing? Hormones? Chocolate? Stress? Has a curse been put on my skin?...



Problem is, I know the answer. You know those people who tell Super Nanny that they already follow her rules, they just can't figure out why it's not working and their kids are still giant bloody terrors, and then she watches them in their routine, and clearly they are NOT following her rules, but rather some jimmy-rigged version that is doing more harm than it is good? That's me. I wash with a scrub one day, use a toner the next, start a new skin regimen about once a month. Some days I wash my face twice, and some nights I am too blasted tired to wash my face at all, and think "hey, that Bare Minerals lady said that it's so natural you can sleep in it." I am all over the place. So it's no wonder that my skin has as many personalities as Sybil.



So, I will commit. I am going to go to the blasted mall and get one of those Pro Active kits and that is going to be my new stinking religion- Pro Active. Cause it would be nice to be able to look in one of the other bathroom mirrors in my home once in a while.