Saturday, February 26, 2011

reality check

Last night I'm at the gym.  I know, it's slightly pathetic.  It was a Friday night.  But truly, coulda cared less. I had meant to go to the gym all day, and to make my sliminess and BO that I'd been sporting all day worth it, I had to go..even if it was the end of the day.

I was almost done working out, on my way to the lockers, to put away my Kindle that I'd been reading on while on the treadmill (I had done a whopping 1.5 miles of speed walking, slash jogging, slash running, slash proud of myself), when a guy who was missing a few front teeth stopped me to tell me "That looks like a huge phone."

I should note that this toothless stranger was not being inappropriate, as I was not wearing a wedding ring.  A few months ago my ring started to eat away my ring finger.  It probably has something to do with the fact that I NEVER take my wedding ring off.  The ladies at O C Tanner were insistent that I should remove it when gardening, washing dishes, showering, swimming, and working out...yeah- that sounds realistic.

So, from gardening, showering, dishwashing and swimming in my ring, I guess I get what I deserve- a man eating fungus that is itching the bananas out of my ring finger and driving me crazy.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I had to take the ring off.  And you know what the sad thing is- I had imagined in my mind that the only thing keeping really quality, hot, emotionally balanced men from approaching me with the intention of flirting with me/ asking me on a date was that wedding band.  That they would spot me from across the room and they would instantly be drawn to my life force, positive energy, good looks, etc.  And just when they thought that they'd found the girl they were going to bring home to Mom, they were dashed-devastated-forlorn-depressed to see gleaming on my left ring finger a sign that it could never be.  I was taken...gasp!

But on about day 7 of not wearing a wedding ring, being around plenty of single men, and not having one even think of approaching me, let alone even be aware of the fact that I am existing on the planet Earth, I came to the depressing realization that the ring was not the thing keeping future suitors away...sob.  Not that I would have run away with any of these suitors, it was just a nice thought that I could still be desired by someone of the opposite sex...the same species...heck- something with a pulse besides my husband.  But nope...I no longer possess one gram of mojo.

So, I was conflicted as this fifty year old, leather faced man attempted to flirt with me in his middle aged glory.  I honestly didn't even know what to do.  I didn't want to make him feel bad, but I quickly said, "It's an electronic book", as if he gave a crud.  "What are you reading?"  He followed up with.  "The New York Times gets newspapers too," I said...and then I rushed in to the locker room.

So I guess that my future prospects are not totally absent if Gavin were to bite the dust.  But honestly,  I think I'll just stay away from the gym on Friday nights from now on.

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