I should write something really touching. Post some pictures of my kids in the bath, or playing outside now that it's spring, but I won't. I am not at that place right now. I am in my last week of school.
It's the last lap before the finish line. I remember being on the track team in Jr. High. Lucky for me, they would take just about anyone. Seriously, I don't think that they could refuse you. If you'd say you'll run long distance, they didn't care what time you finished in, you just had to get out there and run and run and run, and you were on the team. Sure there were a lot my teammates who had actual talent. They could run with that stick and then pop up over the bar. That still baffles me when I see it. I had classmates who could run so flipping fast that it was truly beautiful to watch them.
I was on the track team in Jr. High and High School, and that whole delightsome time of my life sometimes seems to blur in to one gigantic blob. So, it was either in Jr High or High School that there was this race at the local park. And don't ask me why in the world I had entered it. Probably because a friend of mine who knew how to run, and liked to run had entered it and I would have run on hot coals if it meant getting to spend an afternoon with a friend, so I probably just signed up. And once I got there I was probably like, "shoot, you mean I really have to run all the way around this blasted hilly park?" So I did.
I don't remember running with my friend. I do have a memory of not really running, but more like panting and dragging my feet while I attempted to propel my body forward. And then I remember needing to go to the bathroom. I remember needing to go about the same time I was passing the park's bathrooms. And I had the thought that I could just pop in to the bathroom and go. But then I had the thought that you weren't allowed to do that in the race because you could be disqualified and not get your medal that everyone who ran in the race got. The medal said something like, "Good job runner".
So, I had to make this decision quick because I was about to pass by the bathrooms with the crowd. And I decided to hold it. I mean, how hard can it be to hold a full bladder of urine when you are running up a hill without stopping? Usually I could hold it pretty well, but that would mean that I would have to cup my crotch while crossing my legs and saying over and over and over, "I can hold it, I can hold it." Then the feeling would pass. It was a gift. But I jolly-well could not hold my crotch while I was running. It was a conundrum.
So, I am running along and I start to pee. I didn't relax my crotch. It just started leaking out. I think that every time my foot hit the ground, a couple more drops would pop out. I have never had incontinence issues. I was not a Depends wearing twelve year old. I just had a lot of pee that needed to come out. So I was running along peeing.
I did start to run faster, like maybe the faster I ran the quicker I could get the heck across that finish line and to a toilet. So, I don't really remember the finish line. I do remember this piddly little medal they gave me that by that time I didn't give a hoot about. And I no longer needed to hurry and find the bathroom because I guess that I had released enough liquid that my bladder was no longer needing to be emptied.
So, I walked with my dad to his car. His car that you can't eat or blow your nose in. And there I am covered from the waist down in urine. He got a towel out of his trunk. Cause doesn't everyone have a spare towel in their trunk? And laid it down for me to sit on. I am not sure if as a parent he was proud of me that I finished or speechless that I was such a nut for not just taking a detour in to the bathroom to take a pee. I mean, it was one pitiful medal for all of that.
But there I was with it hanging around my neck, as a reward for my sufferings. I think I was hoping no one really noticed the pee. If I pretended the pee wasn't there, maybe no one else would notice. Oh, my cute twelve year old self.
So, here I am at the end of this school semester. I have pee leaking down my leg, but I am hell bent on getting across that finish line. The reward may be anti-climatic, but I will not take the detour. I am pushing on. I am just hoping that someone has a towel for me when this week is over.