Not sure what to do with Shelby. With Dalton, I could always call his bluff. He could act tough, but I could always be tougher. With Shelby..it's tricky. Today I tell her that she needs to start doing her chores (making bed, putting clothes away, etc). We aren't talking mowing the lawn and scrubbing the floors..just the simple things that five year olds should do. No way Jose. No way is she ever doing those things. She doesn't care if I throw away all of her toys. In fact, she will just run away.
So I ask her if she knows what happens to kids who run away. And when she doesn't respond, I tell her that mean scary men kidnap them and then hurt them with knives, because mean strangers are always looking for kids who have run away. I know..I am insane. I have been watching too many Oprah's lately about child abductors.
But, it backfired. She said I don't care. So then I said that they'd kill her. And again, she said she didn't care if she were dead (because of course that would be better than having to pull a blanket and a sheet up and throw a pillow on top of that). So then I told her that she could go lay on her bed for the rest of the day, because that is what it feels like to be dead!
Her Grandmother has told her that in Heaven you can pet tigers, so now Shelby is just itching to get up there and pet all the neutered man eating animals. No idea where my Mother got that...sounds like Sigfried and Roy's idea of heaven to me. But I have to "unsell" heaven and death- thanks a lot Mom. So, for now heaven is a big dark empty abyss with no animals or toys...
and obviously the conversation didn't go how I planned it...which was basically I threaten, she gives in. Yes, that is how I would prefer it.
But not this kid. I have to finesse, finagle, smooth her over... And it's flippin killing me. I am not a negotiator. I am "the boss". It's how I like it. But her favorite come back is NO. I give her two choices..two cereals, two games, two chores, two TV shows..and the answer is usually NO, Neither, I want NONE of those things, etc... What the heck!? I am sure that I was not this stubborn as a child.
It might kill me. Truly, between Garrett eating all the markers and chapstick in the house, and Shelby giving me grief over every mynute decision on the planet earth, I think I am going to need to be committed. I am also rethinking my three day a week morning Preschool routine for her. Thought that we'd have all this quality time together...and it is fun making shrinky-dinks, and doing puzzles, and coloring, and playing horses, and Memory. But the girl needs a LOT of stimulation. I am not equipped. I run out of creativity. Plus I need a shower...and you remember Garrett, Mr.-If-you-turn-your-back-for-three-seconds-I-will-eat-the-cat's-food, paint-the-house-with-the-toilet-wand, and Peter-Pan-off-the-kitchen-table? Yes, you remember that I still have to always have one eye on THAT kid. Yet Shelby would like all my attention. And I would love to give it to her. But I seriously need a rental-best-friend for her.
Or better yet, I need five day a week Pre-school. It's my mission. She is going to be stimulated...going to be challenged, loved, motivated, given attention, etc and etc. This place just ain't cuttin it for her anymore. It's not that I don't love them, OFCOURSE. It's just some days you go a little nuts. You reassess. And then you keep on keepin on.
I have one of these "please just do as I ask" children" but he is older and should know much better...
I have no answers, and what annoys me the most is I just want him to play by the rules and pretend I am IN CHARGE (I know I'm not but a girl can dream hey). Thanks for sharing.
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