Today was Dalton's first day of school. He wanted nothing to do with me walking him to school. That would have been the ultimate embarrassment of his life. Am I that lame? It is seriously a blow to my self-esteem. All the other moms still get to tag along, but I get kicked to the curb. I couldn't go anyway because the baby was asleep in the crib...but still. So he walks to school with just his friends, and THEIR MOMS.
My day was going pretty well. I was in my PJ's for most of it, and the house was a disaster. Gavin is in Detroit on business, so I didn't have anyone to impress. Shelby was at her friend, Hannah's house. I was doing something associated with the baby. I got in the shower, because it had been a week since my last shower, and I didn't want to gross the other adults out when I went to pick up Dalton from school.
Now I did not get his permission to do this, and I knew that I was doing it more for me than for him (oh who am I kidding- it was ALL for me). I am showered, and I have make-up on, and I have the baby and the camera, AND a bag of lollipops in the stroller, and I get a call from Hannah's mom. The message just says “Ashley, this is Ashley (her name too). Call me as soon as you get this please.” OK, I was freaked out. Was Shelby in the emergency room? Did she break a bone? I called Ashley back. Turns out that Hannah, Shelby and another little friend had all given themselves hair cuts. I breathed a sigh of relief. I told her that I would pick her up on the way back from getting Dalton. Ashley said “Shelby wants to talk to you.” She put Shelby on the phone.
“Well, I made a mistake and I accidentally cut my hair with scissors.”
“That's OK. I still love you, and everybody makes mistakes.”
-And before you say, “Wow, you were calm. You are sooo level-headed.” I have to let you know that this IS the 4th time that Shelby has cut her own hair, so I now know how to properly react.
Time #1 I can not remember, so it must have been so bad that I have blocked it from my mind.
Time #2 was at her cousin Lily's house, in the closet, while Lily's mom did her hair.
Time #3 was at my house, behind the couch, while I blew dry my hair upstairs. That was the last time, and that was the time that I LOST it. I think that I was 8 months pregnant (so, legally insane) and I was so MAD at myself, because I had left out a pair of kid scissors, and I knew better than that. I found this trail of blond locks all over the downstairs, and I started crying. She got a spanking (never ever since then, and never ever again), and got sent to her bed (I think mostly for her safety so that I could calm down). Let's just say- one of my top ten for "worst parenting moments".
So, returning to today, I know that she is sorry, and scared, remembering the last time that I turned in to psycho-mom when she cut her hair. So, I am walking to the school to get Dalton. I am just imagining Shelby and what she must look like, for Hannah's mom to be feeling so bad.
I get to the school, and am standing outside Dalton's classroom, when he spots me from inside. He comes up to the door, takes one look at me and says, with a straight face, “What are YOU doing here?” OK, last time I pick him up from school. I try to smooth it over with the lollipops. It helps a little.
I knock on Hannah's door. I can not accurately describe the scene. There are three little girls sitting on the couch, who look like the cat who just ate the canary. They look like their hair has gotten in a fight with a weed-whacker,
and the weed-whacker won.
Poor Hannah is the worst, which makes me a little glad, since she was the ring-leader/master-mind. But poor Shelby. There she is with only a half a head of hair. One side is completely cut off, like a buzz cut, save one lone dread lock at her sideburn. And there is a large chunk missing from her bangs. I almost cry. But I don't.
I pick her up, and carry her home. Once inside I examine the damage. I can still pull it up in a pony tail, and you can't really see the damage. So I tell her that she will be wearing a pony tail a lot. She says “OK.”
Then she says the line I didn't think I would hear until she was a teenager
“My friends were doing it.”
“Well, you know that it is against the rules, so you should have said that you are not allowed to do it. We are going to take away your rat, white horse, cow and goose, as well as your baby seals (her current favorite toys) for two days as punishment for not obeying the rules." (One of our house rules had become "We ONLY CUT PAPER" after her clothing looked like it had been attacked by moths with teeth, her My Little Pony's all got Mohawks, and she cut her hair the FIRST THREE TIMES). And you will have no desert for the rest of the week.”
At this, she began to cry.
“I love you, but you know that when you break the rules, there is a punishment."
“How about if you take away just the goose and the cow?”
So, there is my day today. The baby went to bed at 11:00 tonight. I hope he sleeps through the night, or at least cries softly when he does wake up, as not to awaken anyone else, and then I hope he finds his fist, sucks on it, is comforted, realizes that he does not NEED to eat, he can not possibly be hungry and quickly goes back to sleep until the morning (most preferably AFTER I have made Dalton's lunch, and gotten him off to school.)
It is now 11:45. Good night.