Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Dalton's First Day of 2nd Grade

Today was Dalton's first day of school. He wanted nothing to do with me walking him to school. That would have been the ultimate embarrassment of his life. Am I that lame? It is seriously a blow to my self-esteem. All the other moms still get to tag along, but I get kicked to the curb. I couldn't go anyway because the baby was asleep in the crib...but still. So he walks to school with just his friends, and THEIR MOMS.

My day was going pretty well. I was in my PJ's for most of it, and the house was a disaster. Gavin is in Detroit on business, so I didn't have anyone to impress. Shelby was at her friend, Hannah's house. I was doing something associated with the baby. I got in the shower, because it had been a week since my last shower, and I didn't want to gross the other adults out when I went to pick up Dalton from school.
Now I did not get his permission to do this, and I knew that I was doing it more for me than for him (oh who am I kidding- it was ALL for me). I am showered, and I have make-up on, and I have the baby and the camera, AND a bag of lollipops in the stroller, and I get a call from Hannah's mom. The message just says “Ashley, this is Ashley (her name too). Call me as soon as you get this please.” OK, I was freaked out. Was Shelby in the emergency room? Did she break a bone? I called Ashley back. Turns out that Hannah, Shelby and another little friend had all given themselves hair cuts. I breathed a sigh of relief. I told her that I would pick her up on the way back from getting Dalton. Ashley said “Shelby wants to talk to you.” She put Shelby on the phone.

“Well, I made a mistake and I accidentally cut my hair with scissors.”
“That's OK. I still love you, and everybody makes mistakes.”
-And before you say, “Wow, you were calm. You are sooo level-headed.” I have to let you know that this IS the 4th time that Shelby has cut her own hair, so I now know how to properly react.
Time #1 I can not remember, so it must have been so bad that I have blocked it from my mind.
Time #2 was at her cousin Lily's house, in the closet, while Lily's mom did her hair.
Time #3 was at my house, behind the couch, while I blew dry my hair upstairs. That was the last time, and that was the time that I LOST it. I think that I was 8 months pregnant (so, legally insane) and I was so MAD at myself, because I had left out a pair of kid scissors, and I knew better than that. I found this trail of blond locks all over the downstairs, and I started crying. She got a spanking (never ever since then, and never ever again), and got sent to her bed (I think mostly for her safety so that I could calm down). Let's just say- one of my top ten for "worst parenting moments".
So, returning to today, I know that she is sorry, and scared, remembering the last time that I turned in to psycho-mom when she cut her hair. So, I am walking to the school to get Dalton. I am just imagining Shelby and what she must look like, for Hannah's mom to be feeling so bad.
I get to the school, and am standing outside Dalton's classroom, when he spots me from inside. He comes up to the door, takes one look at me and says, with a straight face, “What are YOU doing here?” OK, last time I pick him up from school. I try to smooth it over with the lollipops. It helps a little.

I knock on Hannah's door. I can not accurately describe the scene. There are three little girls sitting on the couch, who look like the cat who just ate the canary. They look like their hair has gotten in a fight with a weed-whacker,
and the weed-whacker won.
Poor Hannah is the worst, which makes me a little glad, since she was the ring-leader/master-mind. But poor Shelby. There she is with only a half a head of hair. One side is completely cut off, like a buzz cut, save one lone dread lock at her sideburn. And there is a large chunk missing from her bangs. I almost cry. But I don't.
I pick her up, and carry her home. Once inside I examine the damage. I can still pull it up in a pony tail, and you can't really see the damage. So I tell her that she will be wearing a pony tail a lot. She says “OK.”
Then she says the line I didn't think I would hear until she was a teenager
“My friends were doing it.”
“Well, you know that it is against the rules, so you should have said that you are not allowed to do it. We are going to take away your rat, white horse, cow and goose, as well as your baby seals (her current favorite toys) for two days as punishment for not obeying the rules." (One of our house rules had become "We ONLY CUT PAPER" after her clothing looked like it had been attacked by moths with teeth, her My Little Pony's all got Mohawks, and she cut her hair the FIRST THREE TIMES). And you will have no desert for the rest of the week.”
At this, she began to cry.
“I love you, but you know that when you break the rules, there is a punishment."
“How about if you take away just the goose and the cow?”
So, there is my day today. The baby went to bed at 11:00 tonight. I hope he sleeps through the night, or at least cries softly when he does wake up, as not to awaken anyone else, and then I hope he finds his fist, sucks on it, is comforted, realizes that he does not NEED to eat, he can not possibly be hungry and quickly goes back to sleep until the morning (most preferably AFTER I have made Dalton's lunch, and gotten him off to school.)
It is now 11:45. Good night.


Anonymous said...

Ashley, I loved the post and wanted to laugh/cry the whole time I was reading it.

I can't believe Dalton is in the SECOND GRADE! Someday you'll be cool again to him, and at least Garrett still thinks you're awesome, right? (Yeah, Charlie thinks I'm awesome, too. Especially at 1:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. Love him to death, but wish I could get a good night's sleep now that he's FIVE MONTHS OLD. He was up until 11 last night, just like Garrett, rolling around and laughing his head off - except when I'd try to leave. Why isn't he that happy during the afternoon???)

Kimberly said...

Oh, I feel you! Samantha has done it twice. Last time I said I would shave all her hair off if she ever did it again. That seemed to work. Not my best mom moment, either, but man - why does it ALWAYS happen around photograph times?!

Jared and Delia said...

What a day! It seems like you took it all in stride. Good for you to do all that AND to have your husband away.

I am not looking forward to my son being too cool for me but I am sure it will happen soon.

Ashley said...

Hey Charlotte, don't tell me that your 5 month old is doing the same thing to you...ugh! I was totally hoping that Garrett would outgrow this, like TOMORROW! Are you co-sleeping with your little guy? I had to put Garrett in his crib at night. When he is in bed with me, he's like a heat-seeking missile, and is trying to latch on to me ALL night. One night he got my arm by mistake, and I woke up with a HUGE hickey on my arm! Oh, I found this book called "Why is my baby crying". It is super-old, but was pretty helpful. Have you read it?

Kimberly, I forgot that picture day IS coming up at Shelby's pre-school..grrreat! Why couldn't she have done this at the BEGINNING of the summer? Oh well, maybe she can wear her Hannah Montana wig for picture day!

ktmay said...

Wow! just reading about a day in the life of you was enough to stress me out. I totally hacked into your blog after seeing your comment on "seriously so blessed" hope that's all right. i would flip if my kids cut their hair. mine never did that. thank goodness. i did it when i was a kid though. i even did it when i was 15 years old. i really messed it up bad.
your son is a hoot. man, he's starting early with the "embarrassed of mom" attitude, huh? my son is 11 and still hugs and kisses me in front of anyone, anywhere. i keep expecting him to get "too cool" for it, but he seems to think it's something to be proud of.
i never got embarrassed of my parents. i think some kids are just like that, and some aren't. it doesn;t have ANYTHING to do with the mom personally. it;s just one of those weird kid quirks.

The Hafen Family said...

Hi Ashley, it's Cami. I'm so sorry about the hair, but I have to say it gave me a very good laugh. One of the best posts I've seen for a while! I guess we all have our parenting issues. Thank goodness for the ponytail!!!

Anonymous said...

Ashley - no, Charlie's not technically co-sleeping. Except for the nights when I can't handle getting out of my bed for the 50th time - on those nights, he sometimes msteriously appears in our bed. Half the time, I don't even remember bringing him in. Sometimes I wish I weren't such a light sleeper...

But Chris does NOT like it when he wakes up to find Charlie in our bed. In fact, the other day I was looking at pictures on his phone and saw one of me sleeping with Charlie next to me. I said, "When did you take THIS?!" He said, "The other day. It's proof you're still letting Charlie in our bed." Ha.

Things actually have improved since we got Charlie a real crib a few weeks ago (as opposed to the Pack 'N Play), so it's really only every OTHER night he's a wreck.

We tried the Ferber method a few weeks ago - what a nightmare. I don't know if I have what it takes to attempt it again. We'll have to figure something else out...and maybe I should have a look at that book you mentioned.

So here's to hoping that by six months, EVERY night is a good night...

The Jones' said...

Sounds like a fun first day. I am sorry about Shelby's hair, at least she has hair to cut....
It is crazy to believe that our boys are in second grade, where has the time gone only shown by the black rings under my eyes and the wrinkles here and there. Anyhow thanks for being such a great example, I am always wondering what works as far as punishment, and obviously dessert is the key.

Kati said...

I guess I better gear up for my daughter to cut her hair?

So, I saw your comment on Cami's blog. I am just glad to know that you just didn't want to be in touch. (happy face, after a long sad face awaiting your reply)

email me at
so you can get caught up with us!

The Sandy Bottom Crew said...

Hello Ashley! i was so excited to see your comment on my blog! You have such a beautiful family and you look gorgeous as usual:)
That is no fun about the hair, i remember my sister lindsey doing that all the time:)
Well, i would love to put your link on my blog if that is okay. I would love to keep up with you and your family.

karen said...

so I saw the first picture and thought "Ok, that's salvagable with a little haircut maybe" and then when I saw the shaved sides, I thought "maybe not". she looks like she's in big trouble in these photos, like she knows she's really done it. Way to keep your cool. Trust me, I feel your pain. Jackson has advised me not to even try to hug or kiss him goodbye for school unless the blinds are closed (no kidding). When did these boys turn 15 already? Oh, and my kids played PacMan on Dalton's blog for like an hour last week--they think it's the coolest! I"ll teach them how to post a comment one of these days...
hang in there sista.

Ashley said...

Karen, where are you on your blog? I am going through withdrawls! I know that tons of fun stuff is going on at your house. I want to hear about it!

paula shaw said...

ok just read your blog-wish i knew how to post the picture of you at age four with your hair in pigtails and your bangs completely cut off!! this is obviously a genetic thing. oh and fyi- the whole "i dont have a mother i live by myself and drive a car" attitude at age seven- yeah that was you too!:) i'm happy to say i can assure you they will grow out of ALL of it! i love you mom

Chip and Lisa said...

It's a rite of passage to cut your hair if you are a girl. I always wanted a side pony tail just like Cindy Lauper but my mom insisted on piggie tails. Well I showed her by simply cutting one of the piggie tails off. I got my side pony tail for a good year and a half. That doesn't mean that I won't totally FREAK out when London does it. I'll have to go back and read this blog post again. You make me laugh so hard!!!