Saturday, December 31, 2011


So the other day, when reading someones facebook post about New Year's resolutions, I thought about what mine should be.  I say should be, not would be, because I have not made New Years resolutions for years.  I am just in to low expectations now.  My friend Lynn shared the quote with me that expectations are pre-planned disappointments.  TOTALLY.

So instead, I thought of what I would like to do these upcoming 365 days.  And I thought, I want to watch a movie every single day (or night).  Doesn't that sound wonderful, and extreme?  I mean, it sounds absolutely indulgent to me.  Some nights I can barely fit in a 20 minute tivo'd Daily Show I am so beat, let alone a two hour film.

But you see, that is because I have not made it a priority.  I have not made it a New Years resolution.  Just like going to the gym, or being nice to people you hate, you can do things that seem hard if you write them down on paper and tell everyone that you are going to do it.  That way your own guilt (which is the single most powerful driving force on the planet) will propel you to do it so that you can save face.

So I have made time.  I decided to start early.  The first night I watched Midnight In Paris.  I think that I heard that it was a Woody Allen film.  I literally know nothing about Woody Allen other than the fact that he and Mia Farrow (Rosemary's Baby) split up because he fell in love and started sleeping with one of his millions of adopted kids.  That is gross to me.  I don't care how bohemian you are, that is FLDS weirdness in my book.  But everyone LOVES him....and people had said this was a good movie.  Plus, we read a book about Hemingway for book group, so I was interested in the characters.  Turns out it's ehhh.  The characters are pretty cute.  The show's pretty cute.  But nothing really special.  Owen Wilson seems an odd choice for the love interest.  There were moments of sweetness, but I would never watch it a second time.

Last night I watched The Help.  We read this book for our book group (like every other female in the United States) so I belatedly wanted to see what all the fuss was about.  It was okay.  I can see how every white woman in America thinks it's wonderful...because it paints a white woman as the savior of all black people in the town.  Isn't it convenient that she gets to run off to New York and leave them up a creek when it's all over.  Now that I think about it, I like it less and less.

The movie I watched tonight killed me.  On so many levels.  I didn't have any expectations for the first two movies, so I was not disappointed.  But for this movie,  Melancholia, I had heard amazing things about it.  It stars Kirsten Dunst, and it is about two earths on a collision path.  Critics were raving about how unique and original it was.  It made many top ten lists of the best movies of 2011.  All I can say is- I AM PISSED.  I am seriously in need of an entire bottle of Xanax right now thanks to that stinking film.

I am not going to say it wasn't beautiful, because it definitely was.  But the grapefruit size knot that I have in my stomach right now doesn't really give a crud about beauty because I am about to have an anxiety attack.  Honestly, every one of my worst nightmares were on screen in this film.  Add to that the fact that I was not prepared, and it makes it even worse.  With The Help or Midnight, you know what you are signing up for.  Get ready for sugary, sappy feel-good with a dose of moral lesson sprinkled in for good measure.

With Melancholia, I knew I was getting an indi film, so I had expectations of what I am used to with the indi films that I have seen (which are not many, hence the New Years resolution).  I thought I was going to get Little Miss Sunshine, or Juno, or Girl With the Dragon Tatoo.  But not the Coen brothers.  Seriously, it was like No Country For Old Men mixed with Moulin Rouge.  Let's just say that if you are not borderline suicidal before you watch it, you will be after.  I seriously think that the only reason the critics raved about it is because you get to see Kirsten Dunst's boobs twice.  Not worth it...let me tell you.

Now I am not saying, don't see it.  Because like books, I think that everything is worth the read.  I think that afterwards you can rip things to shreds, but it's okay because you know.  And even crap is okay because it makes the good stuff that much greater.  And all films and books can offer some insights.  But I just wish that I would have known, going in to it, what the genre was.  I don't like to see previews usually because I want to be surprised.  But I at least want to know if I am going to see a dark slasher flick verses a Broadway musical.

Gavin has been sick for the last three days, which is why I have been able to watch these three shows.  Guaranteed if he would have had a pulse there is no way he would have agreed to any of those three.  I hear Garrett.  Think he is talking in his sleep.

1 comment:

Kati said...

I love your resolution. I love it even more that you are seeking movies that might have a purpose. I spent my entire Christmas vacation wasting away my free time watching Vampire diaries. I wasn't a very smart person before watching all 3 seasons and now I am left looking at every person I see, wondering if they are a vampire, ware-wolf or a witch. I am serious. I am lame.