Tuesday, December 08, 2009

the most rambling post on the planet earth

Oh...My...Gosh. I think that I have had walking pneumonia for two weeks. I am hacking up a lung. The poor people who sit next to me in my classes probably think that I am giving them the bubonic plague. It's one of those coughs that sound like it's coming from the depths of Hell, and wouldn't surprise you if a car tire came flying out somewhere in the middle of my gasping for air, and doubling over trying to work that tire out.

I wouldn't go to class, but there is some ridiculous attendance policy that pretty much states that you have to attend unless you are dying...and I already used that one up as my excuse to go to Boston and New York earlier this fall. Shoot.

Poor Shelby is still not better either. And her room has an echo so her cough sounds like it is something out of a haunted house, in the middle of the night. Baby is boggery and coughing. Gavin just texted me from Boston and said that he is near death. And by some miracle Dalton is the only healthy one. How, is beyond me, since we are living in a petri dish. But I am crossing all my fingers and toes that he doesn't catch this from us since he has already missed three weeks of school between H1N1 and pneumonia. We really did not used to be a sickly family. IT SUCKS.

So, along with feeling like death, Gavin is gone, and it is 12 degrees outside. No really..it is. I usually exaggerate about everything. You can divide everything I say by two and that is usually about reality. But in this case 12 degrees is the flippin truth. Below freezing today. And a mountain of snow all over the place. I know the skiers of this state are in ecstasy. They are just moaning with delight. But I can confess without any guilt that I hate them and this snow. I am happy to see it in the mountains. I am happy to step in it when it's shoveled by my in-town husband, and it's sunny and comfortable outside.

But a heap of snow, and freezing temps, and it's trash day and I don't even want to think about trudging through my un shoveled walk and down my unshoveled drive to put those freakin giant trash cans back. Why Gavin couldn't have taken his car to the airport, instead of taken a cab this time? Because our friendly neighbor comes out with his snow plow today, and continues to plow on our sidewalk, but then he turns and sees Gavin's car parked in front of our house. And I know he is thinking, "Ok, you lazy SOB, it's flippin noon, get out here and shovel your own flippin walk." So, he turns and finishes his own house, leaving my sidewalk crystal clear, while my walkway, drive and steps are buried under a mound of white powder. Whenever he knows Gav is gone, he'll snow plow every inch of our home, back to our Tuff-shed of a garage in the back. But Gav's flippin car ruined it all and now I have to go shovel with walking pneumonia. I am going to offer Dalton $5 to do it in the morning. No idea how he's gonna do. The snow is half his height.

AND I didn't park under our carport before the storm because my flippin patio furniture needed to be protected because I didn't buy covers for them. AND my car keys that start my car and warm it while I am inside the house have disappeared. I am not naming names GARRETT, but odds are they are in outer darkness or the heating vents...never to be seen again. Damn it. Can you just play with normal BABY toys? You are a freakin baby you know! So, I now have to WALK out to my car and scrape an inch of ice and a foot of snow off the thing and then let it warm until I have put a hole in the ozone directly over my house and melted the last of the ice caps in the North Pole, and then it will be warm enough to drive in.

Drive...really? Do I really have to do that? I mean I know that we have paid for Shelby's pre-school..and she has already missed a month's worth due to her illnesses. But driving down 13th South is going to be like going down a bobsled run. And I will have to turn Garrett in to that kid from A Christmas Story, who can't get his arms down, just so he doesn't freeze to death outside. I am hyperventilating just thinking about this. No..we are staying home tomorrow. Didn't leave the house today. Didn't even leave the porch. Why mess with a good thing?

Bought Dalton and Shelby new snow boots on Nordstrom.com. Who knows where they are? So Dalton is wearing tennis shoes to school, and risking losing his toes as he plays soccer (of course) in the two feet of snow at recess. Come on UPS...bring us the freaking boots already! Did I mention that I am supposed to be studying for finals? I have one on Thursday night. But of course that was just the motivation I needed to completely tear apart and organize my entire downstairs today. The toy room has never looked better. And I have Facebooked every person I have ever known in my life. I scrubbed toilets..hand washed dishes as my flippin dishwasher is still broken...argh! Is there any completely wretched chore left to do that can distract me from the task at hand? Nope. So, that's the rant.

Oh, and Dalton ran in to my room a few days ago and breathlessly asked me if he could eat the cookies we leave out for Santa, since he knows that there is no such thing as Santa. I asked him where he heard this and he exclaimed that he and all his friends know that he's fake, and no one believes it. I told him sure...eat all the cookies.


karen said...

um, hope Gavin is coming back soon?!! no way are you guys still sick! if I know your awesome mom, she's on her way over to help you out. wish we could just take the kids and let them hang over here while you stay DOWN and get better.

empathizing in AZ,

Elizabeth said...

Sorry that you are feeling sick!
I remember the "do everything but study" motivation thing... and I studied for 6 years and procrastinated the WHOLE time.
Thanks for the laugh about Santa and the cookies

Ashley said...

Thanks Karen and Elizabeth! Luckily I did have my mother here to save me on day one and three of Gavin's business trip. Started on antibiotics and not sure if it's the meds or the placebo affect, but I am FINALLY feeling better..not scaring people with my monster cough. However, that said- my house has never been cleaner, but I am sweating about tomorrow's final. Yikes. Tomorrow will be lots of movies for the kids so that I can finish cramming. Thanks for the well wishes.

BTW E, what field did you get your education in?

The James Family said...

Just a thought...Ava just had Whooping cough (even though she was vaccinated), maybe that could be it. Hope you feel better.

Jared and Delia said...

Oh ha ha. I am so sorry. I too have had snow shoveling duty since this is finals week for Jared. I miss him and my snow shovel expert. I suck at it pretty much. Good thing the front of our home faces south and what little sun shines melts what I missed. You have such a nice neighbor.

I hope you get better soon...and good luck on your final tonight.